


The shadows that won't smile (until you come back to me)

by The_World_is_Red_and_Blue



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur-centric, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, M/M, POV Arthur, Self-Reflection, Temporary Character Death, cause im soft and have to give them a happy ending, even if my angst one is better, seconf chapter fix what the first broke, sue me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:55:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28184277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_World_is_Red_and_Blue/pseuds/The_World_is_Red_and_Blue
Summary: Arthur, it's time to go.You know it, but it isn't any easier, is it?No... When your heart is being ripped open from the inside, what could you do beside fall apart?
Relationships: Lancelot & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Lancelot du Lac/Arthur Pendragon
Kudos: 5





	1. The shadows that won't smile

Arthur, it's time to go.

You know it, but it isn't any easier, is it?

No... When your heart is being ripped open from the inside, what could you do beside fall apart?

But you're the King, and the Crown doesn't care for your tribulation, doesn't care for too honourable men. You do though, because you realise duty wasn't all you was by another man that saw your fears and hopes from inside, from your restless eyes.

And he didn't run away, neither did she or... Him, the one whose eyes you could never love again.

Arthur, you loved Lancelot like you hadn't loved a man before. A noble, in all but in title, the one who you dared to fight your father until you won anyway you could. You would have, I'm sure you wouldn't have rested until he stayed at your side, if he hadn't been more honourable than you ever imagined someone being.

And Arthur, you loved him more for the gentleness than the fight, even if he fought with a grace and precision that took your breath away. You loved him when those brown eyes assured you silently everything would be okay, and when that soft smile could mend your day full of jagged ends.

His strong arms, his patient heart, his soft brown hair that the wind liked to mess up.

The love shared in a tankard of mead, the fire born in every fight you almost didn't win.

Because he knew the life of a warrior, why you could never sleep soundly, make long term plans and rules, but write your will before every battle. But it never make him waver, never made him bitter and overly cautious, no. It make him even more courageous, even more hopeful, gentler, more good.

_How_ , you ask, _do you keep having faith on the world that bites you down, chew your dreams in every passing night?_

Those eyes always answered you, every time you dared to look inside.

_I have faith in you, in your spirit, in you gold and red heart._

How could you not love him for being what you admired, what keep you gentle, and brave? Because Camelot wasn't the only one who needed men like him.

And I heard you my king, when even the wind won't, even when your very breath could not stand to let the words come out. But say it again, would you?

_There won't be another one like you, dear knight, first knight of mine, first man I loved. Dear Lancelot, keep watching me, with those brown eyes upon me, I won't fail your trust, your faith, your love._

You wish you had just one more night, one more half hug, one more moment to be braver and let him see the love in your ever cloudy eyes. And I know the guilt will never fade away entirely, as I see you take her hand and turn away from the flames, never stopping to see his smile before your eyes.

But don't worry, my king... He knew.

He feel it in your gentle touch, he saw it in your easy smile.

He shared it in every tankard of mead, in every battle you got his back.

He _knew_

We knew and the ever passing time will never forget.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to leave it like this, don't go into the next chapter.  
> If, your heart could use the balm of a happy ending, well, the story hasn't finished just yet


	2. (Until you come back to me)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur, you loved Lancelot more than Death could ever understand
> 
> We knew and the ever passing time will never forget.
> 
> Not when you still have one more chance

We knew and the ever passing time will never forget.

Not when you still have one more chance

Not that you knew it, not that you expected it from the destiny that put everyone you loved against you.

Even yourself.

  
  
  
  
So you smiled, when the blinding pain was enough you could not deny your death. Because you knew you will see him again soon, even if it was too soon for your plans, for your destiny, for the ones you still love in this land.

  
But even in the light, you missed him.

  
  
Destiny didn’t even let you see him again, and that was your first thought when breathing again.

  
  
  
You came back, and he didn’t, and you cursed me, blamed me, and prayed to me for a second chance, cause the one you got didn’t feel like it without those brown eyes in it.

  
  
You never learn to give up hope when it mattered, no. You pointed your sword against the thunderstorm above you and screamed for justice.

After all, fighting was what you do best.

As a certain big-eared man always say, you were a dollophead to ever believe the world could not be graced again by the noble soul of its most beloved knight.

  
  
And I saw it, when the time came and you could see his smile again

And this time, all your shadows dissapeared when you let him see the love in your eyes. 


End file.
